1st APRILfull @ 1st APRILFOOL

thinking over n over..

being fool in aprilfool is normal..

but thinking over n over again

being fool da entire life is sucks

who always being fool?

my answer is...

da person who fall in love!

fool in believing and hoping

hoping for an everlast relationship

hoping for da epiness all da time

hoping for a pure love own by da self

[read of being fool by love]

"And it's hard to contact him. Sometimes, he doesn't receive

my messages, sometimes I don't receive his.

And that's frustrating. When I call on his cell, it's like..

I dunno what to say.

And i have to say what I have to say in a few minutes coz I don't have money.

I've spent a whole lot on thesis.

I'm scared to call him.On the phone.

I'm scared that he wouldn't be there,

he'd be out with friends,

maybe on the beach (which I didn't know) or somewhere else.

I wish I were this ordinary person who could go out with friends and fuckin commute.

Bahaha. That way, I could go to school when he does,

meet with him after and stuff.

I don't know the kind of different he feels..

Like.. What..

And to think I thought we were okay coz we were still sweet as ever..

And I really really missed him..

I hate thinking. Because..

"Thinking lets you realize problems you never noticed before,

which makes you worry, which makes you try and do something because,

let’s face it, we like to have control of a situation,

which leads us to do silly things because most of the time

we can’t fix whatever’s wrong anyway,

and then you make an even bigger blunder,

which you of course try to reverse,

and it just keeps going in a vicious cycle

that could’ve been avoided had you just not thought in the first place.”

Yeah.

That's why I hate thinking.

But know that when we're together..

Hugging..

It feels real.

That there's hope there somewhere.

That.. We could last.

I dunno, or maybe that's just me. Again. "